Of Alphabet Soup
by Thy Rare Port
Summary: Excerpt: "The tentacles did go away pretty quickly, you know. So I don't see what you're so upset about." A collection of drabbles based on randomly generated words from A to Z.
1. Apologies

**Disclaimer:**  
I am not the Queen of the World, and therefore do not own any of Her characters.

**Warnings:**  
- Eventually, there will probably be some slash and/or femslash.  
- No smut. Which I guess is sort of an anti-warning, but I felt the need to say it.  
- Title, rating, genre, main characters, and warnings may change change to reflect the majority of the drabbles.  
- The disclaimer applies to all of the drabbles.  
- Don't run with scissors.

**Author's Note:**  
So. This is gonna be a collection of drabbles (maybe oneshots, if I'm feeling inspired) based on words from a random word generator...which means I keep pressing the refresh button until a word that starts with whatever letter of the alphabet I'm looking for at the time (I'mma do this alphabetically, ya see) comes up and then write a drabble based on that word.  
Got it? Good.  
So, I'd just like to say that some of them will be in the same universe as each other, while others might not. I think it'd be pretty fun to reference an event that happened in an earlier drabble. Right, so... Off we go!

**In this Drabble:** Sirius is speaking... Just so you know.

* * *

_Apologies_

I'm sorry, Moony. Really. I didn't think it would happen that way!

I'm sorry. I'm soooooorry! How many times do I have to say it?

...

Will you at least _look_ at me? It's really hard to try to apologize when I don't know if you're listening. Just stop eating your toast and look at me!

Mmm, toast... Could do with some toast right now. And some jam. Strawberry jam...

Anyway.

It's not really all my fault either: if Snivellus hadn't been so stupid and taken the bait so easily--

Stop glaring at me like that! That wasn't the point! I mean, even though he was being a bloody stupid git about it, I still didn't want _that_ to happen. You see? And really, if he hadn't been so damn greedy, I wouldn't have had to curse him for trying to hog all the strawberry jam. But I'm sorry anyway.

Even if it was his fault for blocking the curse and ricocheting it off toward you. But the tentacles _did_ go away pretty quickly, you know. So I don't see what you're so upset about.

I mean. Uh. I'm sorry... Moony? Please start talking to me again. It's been two days.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Originally, this one was Sirius apologizing about the whole 'Snape in the tunnel on the full moon' fiasco, but I couldn't bring myself to write something sad.

...There'll be less AN next time, I promise!


	2. Backward

**Additional Disclaimer:**  
Yar. I just realized that I borrowed the Sirius-questions-and-Remus-answers-while-having-inappropriate-thoughts thing from Elpin's "Explosive Results." Although, really, that's about the only thing similar. Just figured I'd mention it, though, 'cause it's a lovely fic that you should definitely go read.

**Additional Warnings:  
**- Angst (ohnoes!)

* * *

_Backward_

"Moooooooony?"

Remus would recognize that voice anywhere. "Yes?" he replied, not looking up from his potions textbook. He knew that, if he did, he'd stutter and blush--surprisingly, he could blush despite all the blood rushing to a very different head--and Sirius would _know_. And Sirius knowing would be Bad Thing, because Sirius was definitely Not Gay, as Remus reminded himself several times daily. And that's why, except for times like this when someone forced him to do otherwise, he hid in his books.

"I need some advice, old buddy, old pal o' mine. Relationship advice. Ya wanna help?"

At this, Remus glanced up, startled. Luckily, he managed to avert his eyes before anything...suspicious...started happening. Anything Sirius could see, anyway. Good thing these tables were nice and thick and not made of something see-through, like glass. "Why do yo want _my_ help? Surely James--"

"Jamie's off stalking his Lilyflower somewhere. And you know Peter would be even less of a help than you."

_Ouch, Padfoot_, thought Remus, who managed to not look too hurt. He sighed. "How can I help?"

"Yay!" Sirius gleefully exclaimed. "So there's this person I like, a lot, but I don't think they like me back. But that's not the point." Sirius gazed at Remus intently. "Moony, do you think I'm pretty?"

Remus's breath caught. "I think 'pretty' is usually used with girls," he gasped out, "but s-sure, yeah, Padfoot. You're...pretty. Er. For a guy, you know."

"And I don't repulse you? You don't mind touching me, or anything?"

Again, he stopped breathing. Anymore of this and he'd be a dead man. Or, well, dead werewolf. _Don't _mind_ it? Merlin, Pads, you have no idea how much I want to touch you, want to feel your skin against mine and-- No. Bad train of thought. BAD._ "N-no, I have nothing against...touching you, Sirius."

"Good. So..." Sirius sat down in the chair next to the sandy-haired boy, their shoulders brushing lightly. "Do you know how to get Ellie Simons to think so, too? She just won't go out with me, and I can't stand it! Why doesn't she want me?" He was practically whining.

"I... I don't know," Remus whispered, his bottom lip quivering as he stared down at his textbook. "Anyone in their right mind would want you, Pads." _And anyone apparently _out_ of their right mind, since they _know_ nothing will ever happen, because the gorgeous Sirius is Not Gay. Re_mem_ber?_

"Are you saying she's insane?! Sirius glared and continued, cutting off Remus's protests that that hadn't been what he meant at all. "I don't want to hear it! Moony, I came to you for _help_, and this is how you treat me? I'm going to dinner!" He stormed off.

Remus groaned and banged his head against the table.

One step forward, two steps back.

* * *

**AN:** I'd like to make it known that that was in no way a self-insert...so please don't stone me. I just picked a random name.

See, I told you! Much less AN. You should be proud. Lemme see...I promise to update quicker, next time.


	3. Cared

**Additional Disclaimer:**

'Partial italics' idea goes to the guy who wrote _Catcher in the Rye_. His name escapes me right now.

**Additional Warnings:**

- DH spoilers, sort of (...but really, anyone who is obsessive enough to read HP fanfiction but _still_ hasn't finished the book is a complete and utter failure. No offense.)

* * *

_Cared_

Malfoys do not care. It simply isn't _done_.

Well, sure, his father was _in_terested in the Dark Lord's goings on, but he didn't _care_. If Ol' Voldy won, great, his family'd have more power. If he lost, they'd just play the 'We're changed people!' card. Dumbledore, the old coot, would eat it right up.

Things that other people cared about--like grades for that damn bucktoothed Mudblood--were nothing to him. His father had power over the school as one of the governors. And besides, he could have bought his way into any career he wanted.

Why should Malfoys care about _any_thing? It was all beneath their notice, anyway.

But when the oaf came out of the forest blubbering, carrying Harry's limp body, and Draco's mind shut off and his every organ turned to lead and the air around him to poison gas, it _must_ have, because why else would every shuddering gasp make his throat burn and constrict and his lungs shrivel and then, then he couldn't even fucking _breathe_ anymore, and oh, there went his vision, and it felt like the world had simply stopped and would just sit there forever since every single living creature should have died along with Harry--when that happened, he figured that maybe he did care about something...or some_one_...after all. Maybe just a little bit.

* * *

**AN:** Being past tense, 'cared' initially made me think of something dreadfully angsty... But I really didn't want more angst. So ha, take _that_, universe!


	4. Darling

**AN:** Guh. I'm sorry for taking over a month for something so short. I feel really lame. I've just been really busy, what with finals and everything.

* * *

_Darling_

"Well, _I_ think it's cute."

"You think _every_thing's cute, Pans. This isn't cute. It's hideously small. We don't even have room for even half my library." Draco murmured, rolling his eyes.

"It isn't _small_. It's quaint. It's cozy. And it doesn't matter in the slightest if your library fits," she hissed. "You won't be bringing it. You're only staying for a few weeks."

"You expect me," the blonde asked angrily, "to leave that many rare, old tomes alone with only house elves to watch over them? You must realize that these are _ministry_ wizards doing the remodeling; they would simply wet themselves in excitement if they found anything Dark."

"I don't care about some musty old books! You are _not_ going to fill my _darling_ new apartment with that many years of dust."

"I _wouldn't_ be filling it if you were getting a bigger place! What makes you so set on this one, anyway? It's so…plebeian."

"It's not _plebeian! _I'll have you know that it used to belong to Kirley Duke. The Weird Sisters' lead guitarist."

"Oh, of _course_. That explains the dreadful taste in wall color."

Pansy's eyes flashed menacingly as she abruptly turned to the realtor, who had been hovering awkwardly throughout the entire whispered argument. "I'll take it!" she shrieked.

* * *

**AN:** Did you know that we're never told what Pansy looks like? All we really have is 'pug-faced'. I checked the lexicon for something to base her character on, but there's not much at all. That's pretty much why this one is all speech, no description.

It was supposed to be much longer, culminating in HPDM, but I don't feel like writing it anymore. You'll just have to imagine the generic Harry/Draco bar scene.


End file.
